Existence's Eclipse
by sorinslayer4eva
Summary: Are the choices made in one's existence so obvious? When the light fades... where do remain? A series of drabbles on light and darkness, focusing on a certain character each time. First up, Demyx.


Demyx has never felt like he existed after he became a Nobody.

He's heard other members of Organization XIII taunting him about how he claimed that they had hearts when they believed that he wasn't around, and for a while, he couldn't understand it. He had never openly stated that they had hearts, and therefore existed. But after a while, he began to understand.

It was because of the way he acted. The way he smiled when happy, shook when afraid, and trembled when upset. They believed that he was trying to prove that they had emotions by reacting to their actions and dialogue. However, this was false.

--

Demyx never felt like he existed. Before the darkness overcame him, everything was real. The sand beneath his toes, the laughing people, all of it was real. Then, everything changed.

He had a feeling of when it was going to happen. The day before, his Other had witnessed a dazzling sunset, and a voice on the wind had spoken to him. Maybe it was his mind, maybe it was his conscience, it really didn't matter. What did mater, however, was what it had said to him.

"_This is the end…"_

Of what?

"_The end… of something beautiful."_

Back then, his Other did not question whether it meant the sunset or his existence. He did not question the oddity of it all, and simply accepted it.

The next day, he awoke on a dark beach. It was as if time hadn't passed at all, and while he was dreaming, he had been transported to this night place. He wasn't aware of what was "really" happening, but felt himself being pulled towards the water. He soon found himself wading through, and just when the liquid was approaching his knees, the sand vanished beneath his feet.

Demyx was plunged through the water at an incredible speed, falling faster and faster, drawing farther and farther away from the source of light, be it sun or moon. He supposes that the falling was caused by his loss of heart. He also supposes that when he suddenly stopped, suddenly slowed down, was when he was found by the Organization. From there on, he continued to sink, but it was at a much slower rate.

--

When Demyx first joined the Organization, he had weird dreams. He wasn't aware that he was having visions of his Other's life, and merely saw small snippets of events going rushing by him. When he awoke, he would only know the memory of the emotions of the events, not what had happened. He began to act upon these memories, causing him to be ridiculed by his fellow members whenever he was out of sight.

--

However, this passive time was soon interrupted. Whenever he acted upon those memories, a pain would burst from his chest, and he began to fall faster through the water in which he was drowning in. But he did not want to lose those memories, so he settled for a compromise. Whenever he was around the others, he smiled and laughed like usual. However, when he retreated to his room, the expression on his face faded, and he stood there like his life wasn't occurring.

One time, Axel caught him in this state, when he was passing by his room. The door was unusually open, and he fancied a glance in, curious to see what was within. To his surprise, he saw a glimpse of Demyx's back; the Nobody was staring out his window, sitar to the side, staring out at the dark city below.

Axel halted, perplexed by this sudden change of Demyx's character. He watched him, almost sympathetically if they had emotions, for quite a long time, before he snapped. Flames shot out from where he was standing out in the corridor, and roared up in front of Demyx. Demyx did not notice these, however, for despite the fact he was much more focused when not pettying himself with the thoughts of emotions, these flames moved faster than his eye could catch. None, unless the Superior was on his guard and was trained for what he was ready to look for, would be able to catch these flames.

These flames held Axel's spirit, and he saw the empty look in Demyx's eye. Quickly, they snapped back to their master, and he continued on, moving silently as not to disturb anything.

Demyx did not notice him, and never realized that Axel had stopped by that night.

--

Another incident with Axel occurred soon after. Both Nobodies had been walking in the hall, absorbed in their thoughts. Not noticing where they were walking, they bumped into each other, and stumbling back, muttering apologies, both looked up into the other's eyes.

The world in which they stood changed; no longer did white hallways surround them, but an entire new setting. A glass wall flashed, separating them, and each lost their breath at what they saw.

Axel saw Demyx, slowly drowning (as Demyx was always aware of), trapped in a world of blue where everything, from his hair to the stiff Organization cloak, was resisting the water's pull to reach towards the surface.

And Demyx saw Axel, being consumed by flames that licked at his face and almost blended with his hair. Axel, too, was aware of these flames, just as every Nobody was aware of the world slowly working against them.

For Larxene was continually being struck down by bolts of lightning, Marluxia was always being strangled by the plants he carefully nurtured, Luxord was being trapped in the bottom of an hourglass, where the sands of time slowly counted down his existence (or non-existence), Saix was forever being entranced by the ever-brightening moonlight, Zexion was left wandering in worlds of darkness, Lexaeus was being left to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, Vexen was being frozen inside a reality of ice, Xaldin was, for all time, being thrown around by the wind that he so leisurely controlled, Xigbar was being hurtled through space, and Xemnas—well, Xemnas never let on what exactly was happening to him, for what can nothingness do to you?

For a moment, they stood in this paralyzed state, Demyx shocked at Axel's peril, and Axel stunned at Demyx's state, before everything reverted to normal, and they both stood on solid ground again. After this, they both rushed past each other, however Axel stopped at the end of the hallway to look back on the fleeing Nobody, and wonder if his water could put out the fire that engulfed him. But these thoughts soon vanished, as Axel realized that there was nothing he could do to save his drowning companion.

--

For a while, Demyx's slowly dissension reverted to normal, and it seemed like his drowning wasn't nearly as terrible as he had first thought.

Yet once again, his unfortunate fate was disturbed. Demyx soon found himself falling faster and losing more air his non-existence began to draw to a close.

It all started when Roxas came. From the beginning, everyone could tell that there was something different about Roxas. And not just from the fact that his Other still existed, but from something else entirely.

There was a meeting, introducing the members of the Organization to Roxas. Each one of them removed their hoods (which was rather uncommon during meetings), and each one looked him in the eye. And each one was able to look in Roxas's soul, and was able to see the other's fate.

When it was Demyx's turn, his reaction was different from the time with Axel. Yes, the wall of shining glass was still there. Yes, he was still drowning, as usual. Yet while his side was the same, always bathed in shades of blue and liquid death, Roxas's side seemed firm, stable even.

It was from that moment that he realized that everyone either liked or hated Roxas. There was no grey area involved. From Axel's reaction, his chin lifting up excitedly, he liked Roxas. From Vexen's reaction, his shoulder's lifting up defensively, he despised Roxas.

For when Demyx saw Roxas's fate, he saw Roxas standing in a room of blinding light. There was a clear door in front of him, with a keyhole waiting to be unlocked.

If that was all, nobody would have minded. However, there was more.

Behind Roxas stood four people with no faces. There was a boy with messy, brown hair, another boy with silver hair, a girl with short, dark red hair, and then a girl with blond hair that he thought he might recognize, but didn't. These four people held a key, and slowly, they were moving it forward to unlock the door that trapped Roxas within. Sure, he was still confined by his non-existence, but that would soon change.

Axel had seen something in Roxas no one else had, Demyx had noticed. Axel believed that if Roxas could escape his fate, and had his door opened, then Roxas could also save him from his flames. This is why Axel found himself always near Roxas, silently begging him to save him. He once claimed to Demyx that he made him feel like he had a heart, but Demyx knew that this was all false, even if Axel didn't know it himself.

Maybe the others had the same false hopes that Axel had; but if they did, they soon found that instead of hope towards salvation, there was hatred. For Roxas, in their visions, simply stood there, not giving any chance that he would save them too.

He would not bring Xigbar hurtling back to earth, would not pull Xaldin out of the whirlwind that engulfed him, would not break through Vexen's ice, would not take the load off of Lexaeus's back, would not push Saix out of the moonlight, would not flip Luxord's hourglass over, would not cut through Marluxia's strangling plants, and would not shield Larxene from the lightning.

Demyx seemed to be the only exception to the "no grey area" rule, as he was unsure if Roxas would save him. Would he be the hand to reach through the water to offer rescue, or be the angel that would drag Demyx back up to the surface? He could only watch the new Nobody carefully, to see if it was in his character to be a sacrifice.

However, he did not enjoy the jerkiness, the unexpectedness of when he would be allowed to breathe and when he would slow down.

--

When Axel, Larxene, Lexaeus, Marluxia, Vexen, and Zexion were sent to Castle Oblivion to face off against Sora, Demyx did not know what to think. He was left with only half of the Organization in the castle, and while he was not very well acquainted with those who had left, the halls seemed unusually empty. With the lack of people, the drowning sensations seemed to overwhelm his non-existent life more and more, until he spent an entire day fully aware of the fact that he was drowning.

That day he did not leave his room, but let the blue oblivion take him.

--

When Axel was the only one who returned from Castle Oblivion, Demyx was the first one who saw him. He noted that the arriver was dangerously close to fading, and quickly alerted the Superior. On his way back down, he noticed a small room that he had never seen before. Maybe it had appeared when their final member had joined, or maybe it had appeared now that a member (or several) had been lost.

Demyx found himself staring down at the glowing tiles, feeling even emptier than before. In his mind, he could see the lightning storm dying down, the earth overcoming its bearer, the plants becoming more carnivorous than ever, the ice conquering its prisoner, and the shadows becoming clearer than ever. He was greatly troubled by the ruins he found in this room, and decided that he wouldn't take this route again.

However, while he decided that he wouldn't take this route again, the route decided to take him, and soon he found himself back, staring down at the individual arches as time passed by.

--

Demyx could feel the change in the air. It had always been there, he supposed, buzzing in his ear, warning him of things to come. However, it was never as loud as it was now, now that Roxas and Axel had left. He became paranoid, twitching when a member of the Organization would come around the corner. This didn't help, as every feeling of unease overcame him, the buzzing became louder and louder, until he would clap his hands over his ears, even when there was no other noise.

If there was anyone else in the room concerned enough to ask, he would always laugh it off and nervously tell them that it was nothing.

However, it was obvious only moments after that Demyx was dreading something, as if he knew something that others didn't, that something was changing.

Something that he, nor any other Organization member, could stop.

--

One day, towards the very end, something occurred. Demyx had been on a mission to the Underworld, when he had taken fright at the rage of the Lord of the Dead, and fled from the chamber. On the way to safety, he saw several approaching figures.

He had to warn them.

Just as he finished speaking, and had slipped through the portal he had opened, his head turned back. Something… something about one of the figures seemed familiar, but soon all he found was darkness.

--

Upon stealing the Olympus Stone, Demyx found himself warping to another part of the Underworld. He still had the rest of the mission to accomplish. Stealing the artifact was only one part, seeing as the lack of Organization members led to more work by the survivors. He had yet to unleash an army of Nobodies, and turn several powerful people into heartless.

But there he was again, that familiar figure.

Demyx's eyes widened, and he found himself remembering how he was so familiar. While the face clearly reminded him of Roxas, the hair was the same as one of the individuals holding the key in Roxas's vision.

But when they started to threaten and grow angry with him, Demyx knew it was time to make his opinion of Roxas, and decided whether he favored or disliked him.

He had to say that he definitely liked Roxas. Because this person, the person fighting him for what he had, wanting to destroy him, was different, nothing like the Roxas he had known. He wasn't quiet like Roxas, he wasn't angry like Roxas, he had taken Roxas away from them.

And maybe if he brought Roxas back, Axel would return, and then maybe everyone else who had vanished would appear in their usual places, and then the buzzing in his ears would end.

And maybe he could go back to just drowning instead of choking as well.

--

Demyx wasn't sure if he was aware that his next confrontation with the new-Roxas-but-not-the-same-old-Roxas would be his last. The drowning had gotten worse lately, plunging suddenly when he least expected it. He could tell the others were getting uneasy as well, for while they continued to boast and brag, a part of them would always hold back, feeling the sensations of fate getting worse and worse.

Was he even supposed to fight them? Was that part of his orders, to turn the new Roxas into a heartless?

But then again, nothing was sure anymore, and so Demyx let himself lose himself in the intensity of the battle.

--

The last moments of his non-existence were so similar to when he became a Nobody.

He couldn't sense the ruins of Hollow Bastion around him, nor the people who had defeated him. All he could see was blue fatality engulfing him.

Demyx could feel the ground, the water below him shifting. He wanted to scream out, something so unlike him, but he didn't want to feel the same way again. Not when he had just forgotten the terror of falling without end.

He knew that it would be no use, and so let himself slip through, descending head first this time, and allowed the melancholy murder to wipe him of everything he had once again.

Maybe this time…

But then again, Demyx didn't know what he wanted, what he hoped would, might happen this time he lost existence.

**--**

**A/N:** Despite the fact I swore that I wouldn't write any KH fics related to Demyx, as you really can't get a sense of his personality in the couple minutes that you see him in cutscenes, I still wrote this. It's just an idea that slowly started to develop in my mind today, and I started to write it out in my head. I decided that I liked it so much that I typed it up, and here's the result. It has the same guidelines as what I was thinking about, however it's a lot worse. In my mind, it's rather fluid and liquid-y feeling, while here it's rough and messed up in places. Everything after the scene where everyone meets Roxas wasn't envisioned, so it's probably different from the rest. Then again, this style of writing is different from my usual kind…

I had some slight inspiration from past thoughts, present thoughts, and these pictures:


End file.
